A reflection on self-perception
This past weekend, I took a trip with a friend, and I found myself stuck in that old, familiar loop where I’m worried about how others see me: What do they think of me? What do I say? Sometimes, especially in new or social settings, I catch myself getting caught up in how I’m being perceived. Am I saying the right thing? Did I come off as awkward? Was I too quiet? Instead of relaxing into the moment and fully being myself, I start scanning for signs or clues about how I’m being received.
It’s not about comparing myself to anyone else or being insecure it’s more about this internal pressure to be just right. To be palatable. To be understood. But in doing that, I end up missing out on the joy of being present, of simply existing without overthinking my every move.
The strange thing is… I almost always have great interactions with people. Strangers are kind. Friends are generous. I’ve even heard words like “intriguing,” “beautiful,” “amazing,” “smart” but every time someone offers those words, I freeze. It’s like I’m surprised they see me that way. It’s not that I don’t believe I have value, I think pretty highly of myself but I tend to assume others are just indifferent at best. I rarely think that others see what I see. I brace myself for neutrality. I never expect admiration.
This trip was different, though. For once, I didn’t just hear the compliments I let them land. I let myself feel them. And it finally hit me: it’s okay to think highly of yourself, even if you’re not sure others see what you see. Chances are, they already do. When someone reflects back the good in you, it’s not arrogance to accept it, it’s affirmation. It’s also okay to lean into being well-received. You don’t have to downplay it to seem “humble.”
There was something so affirming about realizing that people don’t just tolerate me; they see me. And what they see is often far more radiant than the version of myself I’ve internalized.
Later that week, my class wrapped up for the semester, and my teammates surprised me with a glowing review in front of the entire class. I didn’t expect it, but their words were heartfelt, genuine, and generous. My professor reminded us that moments like this matter because “we’re often so hard on ourselves.” And it’s true. We can spend so much time focused on our flaws and trying to fix them or trying not to take up too much space that we forget to acknowledge what makes us beautiful, magnetic, or deeply worthy.
It’s easier to accept our faults than our brilliance. But the truth is you might be someone’s favorite person and not even know it. You might be inspiring someone just by being yourself. And while we don’t need external validation to be whole, there’s something powerful about hearing how others see us, especially when we’re learning to be gentler with ourselves.
So this is your reminder: take the compliment. Let the love in. Receive your flowers, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You are not invisible. You are not less-than. And maybe it’s time to start seeing yourself the way others already do.
You are who you think you are, so think highly.
True North 